Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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