okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
