so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
