there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
