just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
