Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You left your phone here
Wait...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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