Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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