I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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