I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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