I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He uses pillows to masturbate.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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