i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
