to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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