Your face is a jimmy john
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
