you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
