My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
