So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
