You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize