he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
