she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
