Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
