I'm drive I can fine osifer
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize