you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
