Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
