no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
