I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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