yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
