I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
