Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
