He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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