Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Panties = found
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