When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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