I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
