Will you blow on my dice?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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