I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
