Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
