love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
