Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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