Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
