I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
