My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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