He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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