those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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