I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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