I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
