I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
