My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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