im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it wasn't lemon gatorade
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
