i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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