my room smells like sperm. sweet.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
