is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize