I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize