did you get engaged???
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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