Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
