Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize