And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
