So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just gift wrapped bread.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
