im drinking this country out of the recession.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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