I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
