Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
