To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
