so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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