so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
