This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
