That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
