I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
